Grief Therapy

Grief is such a personal thing. I'm sure it's not the same for any two people. But I want to share two uplifting stories today that may give all of us some insight in how to support people who are grieving.

My friends Karla and Karen, who are twins, recently lost their dad. Because they couldn't afford it, they were not able to fly across the country to attend his funeral, and that grieved them even more. But one of their friends, Tracey, did a remarkable thing. She planned a private memorial service just for them. Tracey took them to a local cemetery, where she had a short eulogy, talked with them about his life, and gave them a small flag to honor his military service. Then they went out to eat and celebrated his life. It was really helpful to have this as "closure" for them. I wish I had thought of that! Way to go, Tracey.

My sister-in-law, Linda, lost her husband of almost 50 years in April. She has spent most of the last few months feeling as though she would not survive. She was especially dreading the day in September that was their 50th wedding anniversary. She had been planning a huge party for that day, but now it would not be. Well, by the grace of God, she woke up that morning with peace in her heart. And what she did that day showed all of us that she will survive. She went to George's cash stash -- he had been saving up for a golf trip -- and used the money to buy herself 50 red roses, a cake, and a couple of bottles of sparkling cider. That night, at her son's house, the immediate family toasted George and the wonderful way he lived his life. They laughed and told stories about him, and it turned out to be a good day for Linda after all. She knows now that since she survived that day, she will be able to weather the upcoming holidays without him.

My best advice on how to help someone grieve, whether it be death or divorce or something else, is let them talk. Talking it out to someone who has a listening ear will take the person a long way in the healing process. Linda and her daughter are also attending a Grief Recovery class at the local hospital (also available in churches), and I know that will help too.