You've Always Wanted to Know This

Dot the Clown - then, and in her golden years
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When we took our kids to the circus, I never could figure out how all those clowns came out of that car. I was convinced there must be a trap door in the floor under the car to keep a steady flow of clowns. Did you ever wonder about that?

Well, later I spent 5 years as a professional clown, and I finally found out the answer. Besides birthday parties, grand openings, and church events, I was part of a stage show called "Circus of the King", and we actually did that trick in a Volkswagen. So now I can reveal the secret! I really hope this does not get me into trouble with the underground clown culture out there.

We started with a Volkswagen Bug that was completely empty, except for a very small driver's seat (actually a driver's stool) and a stick shift. In rehearsal, when they told us how we were going to actually load the car with clowns, I came near to having a panic attack. I have never been happy in tight spaces -- I'm still not! Thankfully, when I told them of my fear, they gave me a special place. :)

First, a row of clowns lined their rear ends up along the back window, kind of half standing, half sitting. Then, another row of clowns squashed in, in front of them. Then another row, etc., until the bug was filled up. My place was in the front row, pushed up against the gear shift, but I was not complaining because my face was not stuffed into someone's back. The driver drove the VW Bug out onto the stage, and we each made our appearance to thunderous applause! I can't remember exactly how many clowns we stuffed in there, but I would estimate 24. Imagine that, with all the big shoes and fluffy costumes and wigs!

So now you know...maybe some day I'll tell you the story of why I became a professional clown...always remember: IYQ. (Think about it.)